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Writer's pictureMarija Banovacki Bacinski

How to find happiness?

I have found an inspiration for this text in the number of searches on my website. What people were looking for the most was "HAPPINESS".

When I ask people what happiness mean to them - most of them can't say.

And what exactly does "HAPPINESS" mean to you?


Depending on our basic values ​​and our core beliefs, we understand the concept of happiness differently. For some it is health, for others it is family, for others it is successful and accomplished children, for others it is peace and for others it is success or a large amount of money. As you can see, we do not look at happiness in the same way.

We often complain that we are unlucky, as we don't have a well-paid job or we don't have a decorated house like one from the catalog. Or our children are not successful, they are not good students, athletes, musicians, entrepreneurs ... It is important to ask ourselves - is this exactly what happiness means to us or do we live someone else's notion of happiness?

The American dream imposes on us the notion of happiness where we are obliged to be successful, rich, to have a big house with a pool and an expensive car, to wear branded clothes, to go out to expensive places and, if possible, to do nothing. When we place such a high expectation in front of us, anything less than that makes us unhappy.

Great expectations, which are difficult to achieve, throw us into depression and the eternal search for happiness.

When we look at our lives from this perspective, someone is quite happy with their small, tastefully decorated apartment or their old car. Someone does not want to be successful, it is enough for him to have money for a harmonious and peaceful life. Some women are happy to be housewives and do not need a successful career. When we realize things like this and realize that we live other people's values, then we no longer need to perceive ourselves as unsuccessful and fall into depression because we do not meet other people's criteria of happiness.


And happiness? If we turn around, we will notice that it is there. Both luck and misfortune ... they are both one face of the same coin. When we think about it, neither happiness nor unhappiness lasts forever. Every time we were extremely happy there was a situation that made us unhappy. Whenever we were unhappy, something would happen that would make us happy. The meaning of life is to keep happiness and unhappiness in balance. We often characterize ourselves as unlucky or unhappy people because we do not notice the moments of happiness that appear as sparks.

Sadness, anger, rage, hatred are extremely strong destructive emotions that engage many of our body systems, so it seems to us that the accident lasts longer. In fact, only our emotional reaction is much stronger.


And happiness relaxes us - love, peace, pleasure ... they have emotionally weaker reactions in terms of intensity, so we have the feeling that they last shorter and that we have little luck.

If, after all, you still think you are an unhappy person, think - what should happen at this moment for you to be happy? What can you do about it? Is that what you really want? If that happened at this point - how would you know if you were happy and how long that happiness would last?

The moment you realize that we are all equally happy and unhappy, that many things are just our emotional reaction and that by changing our expectations of ourselves and the environment, we can live a much happier and more fulfilled life.

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